How to Get Change
If your change isn't returned from your vending machine, here are the steps to retrieve the change (as recommended by my IT support department):
"Funny, the change came out YESTERDAY..."
"The change is supposed to come out the slot below. Did you look there?"
"Did you Read The F-ing Manual?"
"Sounds like an outdated model. Time to upgrade."
"Turn off the machine and turn it on again."
"Give it a good whack on the top."
"Probably a hardware problem. I'm the software guy."
"You see, the coin goes in the upper slot and then a weight-determinant lever assigns the direction of the coin's fall into one of several different slots, which passes a sensor coupled to the choice button which the customer presses to determine which of the multiply stocked sodas are supposed to be dispensed. There is an additional sensor to detect duds and fake coins, which in some modern machines uses an optical pattern recognition paradigm, while in older versions a color filter was used. What was the question, again?"
"Push the button. If that doesn't work, push the other button."
"This is what happens when you go with THAT vending machine manufacturer."
"Did you file a Bug report?"